is your mom at the bar?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
