At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
