Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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