make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
