They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize