Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
