I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize