I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
