So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
