Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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