She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
