he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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