god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize