paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
