Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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