definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize