she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
