U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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