between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wish you could order shots online.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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