Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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