There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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