YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
