i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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