he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize