this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
