Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
