Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
