Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
