Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
