I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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