Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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