Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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