Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
