omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
