I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
