my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
