Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
