Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
