I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
