i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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