In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
