I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
