Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I will die if light touches me.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
