Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
