Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
