i think i have herpe
just one?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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