This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
birth control should be required to get into college
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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