when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She bit a glass in half.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
