I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
