we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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