Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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