I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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