i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
