I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
