i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I had to cum in my sink.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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