I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
