note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
