I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
