New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
