Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
