On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
