That's intense
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
