i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
