you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
