Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
