What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
