He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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