Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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