You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
