We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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